"OH NO!... NOT ANOTHER @#$% CRUISE?!?"

{CLICK ME}

Yeah... it appears that the Tempelshifs nudged them into:

"Just a small 9 day Eastern Caribbean Jaunt."

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t all Mr. & Mrs. T’s fault this time... 

Or was it?!?

"Just how did it come about then? "

{Silly you for asking, ya know he's gonna tell you anyway.}

Uncle Chuck Note:

If this blog seems like a running dialogue between YOU and HIM, well... 
Yes... Yes it is!

So then... 

It seems that the Tempelshifs were headed to SoFla for Her Niece Raquel’s wedding and had alerted Casa D' Chaos that after the nuptials and appropriate celebration, they were gonna hop on Royal Caribbean's Harmony of the Seas for that afore mentioned Caribbean Kibitz with another of her Long Time Friends from a previous lifetime. 

"And?"

{Just keep reading...}

OK so, many of you Loyal NOWAT Aficionados already know about the Marathon Master Bath Renovation at Casa D' Chaos due to “Just a Little” subterranean termite damage… 

"Uhh… just a little?!?"

More like a total gutting - down to bare block - and the rebuilding of the whole bath, and... part of the bedroom.

Which... 

Led to the discovery that the little pests had wreaked havoc in the office.

Which...

Needed to be gutted and rebuilt as well.

Which...

Also required HIM to demolish the frog pond and HER orchid garden outside the office window - the suspected source of moisture for the little buggies.

And for those who aren't in the know, this whole saga was booked in August before the last cruise. 

BUT...

Due to the contractor’s backlog, it couldn't be scheduled until October.

BUT...

Actually started in November, and ended in March, so you just know that by now, Chucky's stress level was:

“OFF THE CHARTS”

And as such, Dragon Chic determined that HE was desperately in need of some serious R&R, in the form of the Universally accepted 4S treatment:

Sailing, Surf, Sandy Beaches, and Scotch...

{MUCHO Scotch!}

Sooooo... upon hearing the Tempelshifs’ latest trip plans, she literally LEAPED at the chance to join them in the Caribbean, and immediately had HIM book a balcony cabin on the Harmony… 

[with a frustrating bit of drama in the process - which HE may, or may not report on later - seriously... RCCL Corporate got another long note on that one]

and that, dear hearts and innocent bystanders…

was that. 

So yeah... blame it on the The Tempelshifs... again.

Therefore, from March 29 to April 7, when not haggling over souvenirs and tchotchke's with the locals in Nassau, St. Marrten, St. Thomas, San Juan and Haiti, or attempting to relive his youth by snorkeling wherever possible {Cervical Stenosis of the spine not withstanding}, you most likely will find him lounging on said balcony, sipping that soothing elixir of the Dewar’s family, contemplating – “NUTHIN”  - 

or sumthin’ like that.

NOW... 

Rumor has it that this might just be a different type of NOWAT, wherein he composes whatevah at his leisure and stacks it all up to publish it in proper chronological order at the end of the trip. 

And As Such, you won’t have to endure those annoying periodic NOWAT ***ALERTS***.

Rather, you'll get to enjoy an unheard-of opportunity to euphorically binge read all their Foibles and Faux pas in the Caribbean in one bleary eyed sitting.

But...

Since SHE has threatened to make HIM leave the laptop ashore... this may very well be the only post of the trip… 

So if all you do is check the blog-site periodically just to see what in the Hell HE's really up to... you may be pleasantly surprised… Or not.

Ya never know so stay tuned

Oh… and for the record, the requisite pre-trip forays to the mall have already started:

{No DSW was injured in the process}

and boy does he have some startling news to report… perhaps in the next post…

Or not.

But for now - speaking of Dewar’s…

Ciao 4 Now

Uncle Chuck & The Gotta Get Him Outta Town ASAP, 

Dragon Lady

ONCE UPON A MALL…

What’s a NOWAT without a little MALL TIME?

Just another lazy day at Casa d’ Chaos, that’s what… but without the usual drama.

Well now, most Mall forays really don’t entail Drama, it’s just that by the time HE relates the tale, well, you know…  

Sit back, this was supposed to be brief, but...

First a little back story.

For some time now, ever since several European, Vacations, several Cruises, Global Food Extravaganzas, etc., The Ever Lovely Dragon Lady decided that it was time to work off certain additions to her lovely physic.

As such began an “Up every day by 7AM regimen”, which, in the beginning, meant a trek to T.Y. Park in Hollywood to walk 4 miles and Whatevah. 

After Hurricane Irma in 2017 caused severe tree damage shutting the park for a while, she switched her daily routine to the local YMCA gym. 

The desired results were OK but by mid-2018, sensing the need for some serious guidance, her Birthday and premature Christmas presents to herself was to book a personal trainer for a block of sessions twice a week and work-out on her own the other 3 days.

By the end of February, the results have been SPECTACULAR, dropping serious poundage, many inches, significant body mass, and several dress sizes.

Which, of course meant a healthy purge of the closet of those things that no longer stayed on the body without pins, belts etc., or hung like a potato sack.

So, right after HE booked this 2019 CARIB jaunt, [booking drama included… He'll rant on it sooner or later, HE’s just trying to put it all in polite perspective] SHE decreed that a Mall Run was in order to replenish the wardrobe with somethings in the Size 6 category [a category unseen since they first started dating in 1984]

The Plan:

-Drive to Boynton Beach to try Mr. T’s favorite discount haven, Dillard’s discount outlet in search of Capris etc.
-If no joy there, they would try a few local Hollywood retailers.

-After which they would head to Costco to return some stuff, & Look for… more stuff.

-And finally, follow up at Aventura Mall when all else failed.

    

Dillards was a long trip with no luck, not a capri or acceptable blouse in sight. 
Back in Hollywood– Kohls, Target,  etc – were a strike out as well  So before heading to Costco it was off to Sawgrass Mills, surely something could be found there.

Since HIS size hadn’t changed much since Cancer treatment in 2007 knocked off 45 which he was able to keep off, HE was along just to carry the bags, as usual, and while a bit skeptical of the results, dutifully led the charge, first to Burlington Coat Factory… 
NADA.

Then a serious trek began past all the outlets, Ann Taylor, GAP, Perry Ellis, etc… etc… here, there and everywhere…

NADA, ZIP, ZILCH, NYET Until….

CHICOS!

A previous visit to another branch Long, Long ago had netted some really Nice Stuff, so he drug… literally pulled her in, for a look-see.

[Chico’s can be a tad pricey for the ever bargain conscious Dragon Chic]

He'll save you the long story, it resulted in:

She Shops - She Scores!!!

Score 1: Not only 2 pairs of Seriously Fine capris but a really cool scarf to boot.

Now totally emboldened and in need of some decent sandals [with not a DSW in sight] she sauntered first into SKECHERS, then ECCO and almost walked out after looking at the prices there too. But HE insisted she try on "these cute little things over here”...

“Wellllll, the insoles did feel Heavenly,

OK let me try them…”

AND…

“OMG are these comfy… “

Once on her cute little feet, they weren’t coming off.

Score 2: One nifty pair of “Heavenly” Pedi-tarsal coverings.

Then it was off to Costco where:

SCORE 3: a couple of Lovely tops.
And all WAS GOOD once more in her world.

As you are well aware, his saga may not be over yet… there are still several days until the Packing Ballet and

 “What’s a Mall run without a pass by: TaDa… DSW.”

Obviously a rhetorical question to which you know the answer.

The Hot Mesquite Wings from Costco and cold Blue Moon’s finished the night before SHE headed to Nonny Nonny Land [Gym time comes early]. 

HE, on the other hand, took to penning the previous POST, then settled in for some late Recorded TV catch-up while marveling at the merits of Mr. Dewar’s Fine Craftsmanship.

Stay tuned for more Blah – Blah-Blah – Blah-Blah that you just know is sure to follow.

Ciao 4 Now

Uncle Chuck & The Queen of Mall Runs, 

Dragon Lady 

THE GROWING ENTOURAGE.

This will be a quickie… He swears… but you be the judge.

NOWAT aficionados will recall that Chucky and DL's Dear friends the Tempelshifs tend to attract an entourage when they travel.  Well it seems that this cruise is no different, however you can’t blame Mr & Mrs T this time for the growth of our group. 

As you may recall it started with Donna, Lenny and her friend from a different life, Mark.

And then the Dragon Chic threw herself and the stressed out Chucky into the mix, now a party of 5.

Well now, while out for dinner last Friday with their dear friends Lydia and Helmut Tevini - Helmut is Chucky’s former associate in the Hospitality industry, in another lifetime, who also sold him his Beloved Mercedes SL500 sometime back – another long story for another time - when the discussion turned to the upcoming cruise.

Long story short, the latest Mr & Mrs T- soon to be referred to as T1 and T2 - {and not to be confused with thoracic vertebrae} - we'll sort out which T is which later - had been after Chucky and DL to take a trip with them for some time.  The Cruise idea was ideal and they jumped at the chance to check out the availability on the Harmony – which was nearly sold out by the time Chucky booked.  As Luck would have it, they managed to snag one of the remaining four unclaimed cabins.

The entourage was now a party of 7.

Now I say they jumped at the chance but truth be told, it took some coaxing once Helmut heard there would be 4,994 other folks along for the ride. 

Yeah… it’s a “Biga-Boat” [as Chucky’s Italian Grandfather would call it] 
And Helmut, who considered his own 50 foot cabin cruiser plenty big enough for him, almost balked.  Lydia, Chucky, and DL were having none of that nonsense and as we speak, Helmut is headed to the Mall for some new cruise-wear.

Oh… and speaking of Malls…

Yeah Dragon Chic did have to run back to Aventura HERself to grab some new bathing togs as, due to the afore-mentioned workout, the weight and inch loss, all previous bathing costumes had been consigned to the GoodWill bag during the afore-mentioned closet purge.

HE on the other hand is still 0 for 3 Mall trips, swearing he had more than HE needed. 

Hey, 3 pairs of shorts, some polos & T's [not to be confused with the afore-mentioned T1's ad T2's] 1 bathing-suit and a pair of flip-flops, what else does a guy need for a 9 day Caribbean cruise. 
{Guys are easy}

That’s it – told you it would be a quickie.

Now, where were we Mr. Dewar and Sons?

Ciao 4 Now

Uncle Chuck & The Glad the T-2’s are along, 

Dragon Lady

LET’S DANCE OR SUMP-IN’ LIKE THAT!

Yeah… Dear Hearts and Innocent Bystanders, it’s time to report this episode of the Packing Ballet and possibly Departure Chaos.

For the newbies [The NOWAT list is growing by leaps and bounds… well leaps anyway, there are no boundaries] the Packing Ballet begins when packing for an adventure, SHE starts to take stuff out of the closet, puts it on the bed for sorting, he rolls it tightly, and puts it into the bag, hoping this is the last sort for that item. [HE does all the packing].

SHE then, deciding that it doesn't quite work, takes it out of the bag, puts it back in the closet, its replacement is put on the bed and once again he springs into action.

This continues until she gets frustrated, chases him from the room with orders to,

“GO do Something Else Till I'm finished!”

Well now… this iteration of the ballet was supposed to be simpler due to the previously mentioned workout regimen, subsequent weight loss resulting in pre-sorts, closet cleansing and… mall runs etc.  You would think.

Uhhhh… NO!. 

Miss, “My, this fits nice… IN… This doesn’t go with that… OUT” was on a roll… so this went on and on until the “To Be Packed” pile is much larger than any other trip.

SHE: “Oh But Honey, you know you’ll get it in the usual carryon bag, you always do! J J.”

HE: “@$#^%& - Won’t fit… %^@$#^% - Need a bigger $#%% bag…”

SHE: “What was that Honey?”

HE: “Nothing Dear

But you already know HE got all of HIS to fit, and even his swollen bag… after sitting on it, finally zipped shut.  Hmmm someone is just as guilty of “adding on”.

“Oh Honey… you seem to have forgotten my cute new bathing suits… and this beach wrap, oh and these workout togs… and my walking shoes, Lydia wants to go to the gym.”

“!@!#$%(*$!!!”

“What was that Honey?”

“Nothing Dear, {@$#%@$%} WhereZitAt?”

And with just – one – more – opening and squeezing of the bag shut, the current crisis is averted

Of course you gotta know, until the Uber arrives, there will always be something else that JUST HAS TO GO.

Why HE bothers to shut the bag so soon is anybody’s guess.  Just a glutton for punishment one might suppose.

Uber is scheduled for 10:15 AM, to meet the Tempelshifs at the port to avoid the serious crowds, [this bloody boat has 5,000 passengers] and piggyback their Diamond Plus status to get aboard quickly, get settled and have lunch.  
The Tevini’s may or may not make it in time to take advantage of this perk of traveling with the Tempelshifs since Lydia has a water-aerobics class to teach until 9AM.

Therefore, any of the Usual Departure Chaos may or may not be the subject of the next post, which may or may not come from the high seas, or just compiled and posted with all his mutterings en masse upon their return. He'll just have to see how it goes. 

This is supposed to be a “Stress Release” cruise and she is trying to get him to leave the laptop home. 
But then, how would he be able to take all his adoring [he really is delusional] fans along on the latest adventure? 

 Especially with a few new unsuspecting souls tagging along.

And with that, once Henry got home, dinner was picked up from Capone’s Pizzaria, [Two meatball Parm Panini's, one Chicken Parm Panini and a Cesar Salad].

Soon after followed the regularly scheduled meeting with John Dewar and Sons, prior to an early Nonny Nonny since tomorrow starts early, so without further ado…

Ciao 4 Now

Uncle Chuck & The-Just-One-More-Blouse,  

Dragon Lady

DEPARTURE CHAOS

Chaos? You want Chaos?!? Wellll here goes.

By most standards, leaving ones computer mouse on the desk while packing the laptop and racing to the door to meet the Uber, is a minor thing for most folks.  Especially when you're supposed to be taking a relaxing cruise.

But for the Wacky American Tourist, composer of the World Famous [well, almost] NOWAT it is a CATASTROPHY!

But Seriously… How is he gonna write all those enlightening diatribes, those wonderful tales of adventure and daring do, or report the delightful foibles of the Ever-Lovely Dragon Lady, while being forced to us that tacky little scratch pad on the laptop.  Welllll I guess we’re just gonna find out.

And THAT was just about the only real Chaos in this departure.

"Get on with it already."
"Yes Dear!"

So, aside from the missing mouse, which wasn’t discovered missing until he was unpacking the all-important laptop in the cabin, the departure from Casa d’ Chaos was fine.

However the Uber driver, Pedro, who was supposed to be fluent in English, but wasn’t even… didn’t quite know where we were headed [he does Miami mostly – Broward County is still a mystery to him] but Dragon Chic came to the rescue her giving him directions all the way. and they chitty chatted all the way to the boat, with 

Once inside the port, it took longer to get to the ship from the security gate, than it took to get to the port from Casa d’ Chaos.  The line of cabs, Ubers, Next door neighbors vans for drop-off’s and pick-ups, was loooonnnnnggg.  But the baggage drop porters, waaaayyy over there, were spot on, grabbing bags and tossing them onto the ship loading carts.

And with that our Happy Duo were off to find Mark who was waiting at the VIP entrance for the Tempelshifs who had dropped their bags and had taken their rental car back to the airport.

The Tevini’s were running late, Helmut thought they were leaving from the Port of Miami, and wasn’t in a rush to call for his Uber until he called Chucky to find out which terminal.

As such, they missed meeting up in time to follow the rest of the entourage into VIP boarding line which whisked them all through security and directly onto the ship without having to wait in line to check in.

Whereas the Tevini’s, finally arriving 30 minutes later, had to suffer the cattle call with the rest of the steaming masses.

By the time they got aboard, Helmut was so stressed he found the first bar in sight and settled in for some needed Certified Stress Reliever [a/k/a Vodka/Tonic] while the rest of the entourage was having lunch in the Windjammer Marketplace buffet.

Hunger pangs finally hit Lydia who met them there for a bite before they all headed down to meet Helmut who was in a lively discussion with some Canadians about who knows what.

By then, cabins were supposed to be ready so they all headed up to see what they could see, and if luggage had arrived.

They all headed off in the wrong direction for the elevators and wound up at the wrong end of the ship, which… turned out good for Chucky and DL as they trekked down the looooonnngg hall.  It seems that luggage had begun to arrive and he spotted a familiar bag, albeit in front of the wrong cabin far from theirs. He hauled it to their cabin, which had no bags near.  Surmising that the bag drop was pre-sorting, he headed back and located their other bag and just like that, they were in the cabin and hanging cloths.  

The others reported at happy hour that their luggage had yet to arrive.

Now it was time for the mandatory boat drill, where you have to gather on the boat deck to stand, packed like sardines, in the heat till they smelled like sardines, and until everyone checked in to hear the usual drill spiel. But since this is MEGA ship they mustered in one of the lounges to learn how to put on a life jacket once again and watch a safety video, produced in a cheesy “Mission Impossible format”.

And then it was back to the cabins for a little relaxation until Happy Hour in the Schooner Bar.

After finding a quite spot for 7, which had to be moved after the speaker over Donna’s head caused havoc with her earpiece, Lenny and Chucky cultivated the waitress and instructed the bar staff on their expectations for the next 9 days [with a little greased palm action] to insure a well-oiled cruise, if you get the drift.

OK, so Chucky tends to be picky about his:

“Bone Dry, Dewar’s Rob Roy Stirred, NOT SHAKEN, Straight Up with Lemon Twist snapped over, rimmed and dropped”

Now is that sooooo difficult for the waitress to convey to the bartender? Seriously?

Welllll, after the number of sweet vermouth concoctions with cherries creating more fails than he can count, it has become easier for him to go direct, and supervise, sometimes having to teach how to properly use a bar spoon until its done right.

Yeah… Picky was just polite for Anal.

After their quite time was interrupted by an unexpected Trivia game with a very irritating Trivia MC, it was time for dinner.

Once again this got longer than planned, what’s new?

So we'll cover dinner in the next post. Because, if you know this bunch by now… dinner will be, wellll let’s just say, Interesting.

Ciao 4 Now

Uncle Chuck & The Very Hungry, 

Dragon Lady

TABLE FOR 7 PLEASE.

Not reported in the previous post was the trip Lenny and Chucky made right after lunch to the Maitre d’ at My Time Dining to secure a nice table and insure we had the same team throughout the cruise.

Ricardo promised to do his best which they acknowledged with a FIRM “full” hand shake that thanked him for his future efforts.

Mark had also secured the name of the Head Waiter from a friend who sang his praises from a previous cruise.

And so, our hearty entourage marched up to Ricardo’s desk on Night One, and he expressed confidently that they would enjoy the table and team.  We’ll see.

Ricardo had paged head waiter Radoćlav to escort them to the table manned by Wayan and Vijay with the instructions “They are Family, be good to them.”

If what followed was how family was treated in Rado’s neighborhood, we'll let’s just say, not a neighborhood we would choose to live in.

Wayan dropped off menus, made a few recommendations and promptly disappeared.

When he finally reappeared, he took all the orders including trying to solicit the dessert at the same time.  Seriously?

From the time we were seated until the appetizers appeared was 1 hour.

3 of us ordered escargot which came 10 minutes after all the other appetizers and were cold and had to be sent back.  The replacements were not much better.

30 minutes later Vijay brought out the entrees, which sat on the transport cart for another 10 minutes until Wayan showed up to serve them.

Prime Rib was the recommendation and came out cold, tough and nested on 2 raw carrot medallions, draped over cold mashed potatoes.  What would you expect with it sitting on the side stand that long? 

Mark’s fish of the day was passable and the other items were unremarkable

But the joke of the night, was the, what else… Crème Brule.  While this particular dessert has been the subject of previous pain, this incarnation was truly hilarious.  Crème Brule is traditionally served in a shallow half-tart dish to insure a light layer of custard topped with a light toasting of caramelized sugar.  What appeared was a small, deep sauce ramekin with over cooked custard and burnt sugar topping.

The Hazelnut, fudge “something or other” as Dragon Chic described was bitter and dry. Also served in an inappropriate ceramic ramekin.

The rest weren’t worth mentioning, we think you get the picture.

By the time coffee was served and Rado was summoned for a recounting of the evening, 3 tables – one of 6, one of 12 and one of 4 had arrived after our entourage and departed 30 minutes before.

Lenny led off the list of errors and as Rado looked at Chucky for comment on the timeliness, he was advised, that:

“My Grandmother was slow… but she was old, This evening made her look like Usain Bolt.”

Rado did his best to apologize and SWORE that given one more chance, we would be pleasantly surprised at how good they would do tomorrow.

We'll see.

Now they had just enough time for the unhappy 7 to hustle over to the pre-reserved 10:30 Ice Show for a wonderful performance by an international cast of a fantasy “1887 Journey in Time”. The costumes and the skater were spot on.

By then they were all pretty much wiped out from a very eventful day and headed to Nonny-Nonny Land post haste.

It was particularly hard on the Tevini’s as they are usually in bed by 9.

Dragon Chick and Lydia arranged to meet at the Gym at 8am for a quick work out, the Boys elected to sleep in.

Tomorrow is NASSAU, where if the weather holds, a shore side stroll might be in order, then again, since they all had been there several times, maybe not.

Alas, there’s NOWAT’s to write thus the meeting with Mr. Dewar and his progeny had to be postponed, much to Chucky’s dismay, but his bed was calling.

Ciao 4 Now

Uncle Chuck & The ready to work off dessert,

Dragon Lady

TABLE FOR 7… TAKE II

So, the day started a bit over cast and got progressively worse as it wore on.

Illy and Lydia had a nice workout and not knowing that Chucky had ordered Continental breakfast, SHE brought him some Starbucks.

Altogether… Awwww, such a thoughtful wife.

Then SHE told him that the T2’s wanted to meet for breakfast so after a brief chat, they agreed on the Solarium Bistro.

Located on the top deck forward, it offered a nice looking buffet with a much more limited variety than the Windjammer, with no omelets to order. 

Some of the cold offerings were fine but practically every hot item was Ice Cold.  But the coffee was good.

During the whole fiasco, the sky’s opened up and any plans to stroll a bit of Nassau was nixed and they decide to stroll the ship to see what they could see.

Since it drizzled off and on they all decided to head back to their cabins to relax a bit more until the pre-arranged rendezvous of the entire entourage [hereafter referred to as TE7 as in Tempelshif Entourage 7] at the Park Place Café [small snacks, soup, sandwiches, pastry] for lunch.

The mediocrity was becoming a theme Cold Tough Strip Loin carved to order, tasteless pre-packaged sandwiches, etc., etc., etc.

Oh wellll, it seemed that unless you picked a “premium dining venue” such as Jamie Oliver’s Italian joint - $30 for lunch $54 Dinner, or Johnny Rockets, $6.95 for a Burger and so on, you were doomed to deal with mediocre to poor fare.

Let’s see what dinner will bring and if Redo had remedied some of the issues, although he had little control over the kitchen issues.

TE4, elected to sit out at the solarium deck while the T2’s decided to stroll Nassau since the sun was peeking.

It became a very leisurely day of chatting and Frosty Fruity Beverages.

And then it was time for TE4 to head to the cabins to relax for dinner with a stop at the Maître d’ desk to discuss changing the dining arrangements for the evening.

Just then Lydia called to advise that the fresh Conch Salad they were bringing back for Happy Hour was being held up at shipboard security. 

It seems that you can’t bring any food items aboard the ship for health safety reasons.  Since this was T2’s first cruise they were unaware of this rule and had called Chucky to bring everyone off the ship to eat it but since it was 20 minutes to “All Aboard” time, that wasn’t possible and the Bahamian Security Lady thanked them for their contribution to her family’s evening appetizer.

Happy hour in the schooner [minus Fresh Conch Salad] was smoother without the frenetic Trivia host. 
Donna brought Costco snacks as RCCL has the worst, if any, bar snacks of any of the cruise lines, and then it was time to head into the dining room to see what delights, or not were in store for them.

We would like to report that if Day 1 dinner was mediocre at best, tonight was much better as promised by Rado. 

We would like to report that but… Uh No.  Actually… Hell NO!

The table and team had been changed to Jhon and Henry, two cheerful lads that did their best to make it a lovely evening.  But great personalities could not make up for a dinner that started with just ok appetizers, to cold, tough Pork loin draped over the same ice cold balls of mashed potatoes and raw carrots.  Lenny’s Pork Loin came 15 minutes after the other entrees as he ordered his sauce on the side and this apparently threw the kitchen into chaos. 

Chucky ordered the Ravioli that was supposed to come with some mixed sauce but asked for it to be with Bolognaise sauce instead.  Which also appeared to cause chaos in the kitchen as what he got was luke warm ravioli with a green and white sauce and a plate of cold linguini. Possibly a failure of communications or translation from the front of the house to the kitchen, but still…

5 out of 7 dishes were returned to the kitchen.  Chucky did get warmer Ravioli with Bolognaise on take 2, but the Pork Loin for the others was exactly the same, tough, cold with the same cold ball of mashed potatoes and cold sauce.

Rado popped up expecting to hear compliments on his perceived turn around.  What he got was a serious blast from Lenny and Donna, a forkful of cold mashed potatoes to sample and an earful from Chucky on just about everything.

Then came dessert, ordered when the main order was taken as it included a Soufflé which we presumed took time to prepare.  What came out was a gloppy center of vanilla custard under the usual crusted top over what appeared to be pound cake.

Chucky’s apple pie ala mode was a delightful apple concoction in a lovely folded over frosted tart shell and a ramekin of ice cream rather than the expected slice of pie with ice cream. Actually very nice, except for the usual ice chip filled vanilla ice cream. 

Could they at least get Ice Cream Right? PLEASE!

Once again Rado appeared and immediately regretted it.

After suffering the barrage from practically everyone at the table, his frustration was evident.  He then marched the Sous Chef of My Time dining to the table to get a taste of what he was getting, which to be honest was an empty gesture as it was also evident that nothing had or would be changed at this time or in the near future.  This was more a corporate procedural and training issue. And as we all know, corporations the size of RCCL are very slow to turn their boat, no pun intended, yet very apropos.

Not wanting to miss the Scheduled Aqua show TE7 departed with mixed feelings about considering this venue for future dinners.

We would love to report as lovely a Show as the evening before, however we can’t.  The motion of the ocean caused enough chaos in the deep dive pool as to affect the safety of the performers and it was postponed until day 3.

Altogether… Awwwwww. 

Which was mostly what TE7 heard as they exited to return to their cabins and Nonny-Nonny Land, tomorrow was another day.

Time tomorrow for Chucky to reach out to the Hotel Director, to discuss several issues, the dining room being the focal point of the discussion.

Seriously Dear Hearts and innocent bystanders, He is not really a complainer, it’s really very simple:

Hot food Hot

Cold food Cold

Proper Execution
Lots of Smiles 
No Excuses

Easy No?
At least they mostly get the smile part right.

A warm snifter of Remy Martin V.S.O.P. awaited HIS sampling as he composed this latest episode and then Nonny Land awaited.

Ciao 4 Now

Uncle Chuck & The tired of sending food back, 

Dragon Lady

DINNING ROULETTE

So Sunday, Day 3 - our first sea day of Carib 2019 aboard the Harmony of the Seas rolls around.

Weather cloudy, overcast and 60% chance of many adult beverages being consumed before… well, to paraphrase a parrot head I know “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere – especially HERE!”

THE GIRLS are off early for a brisk walk with Mark in tow.  Wellll, not all the girls, Donna laid back down for “just another minute” and woke up a 9.

Mark lasted all of ¼ mile and headed back to figure out just “what in the hell” possessed him to try something he hasn’t done in more years than he can remember. 

Remember, Illy does 4 miles before free weights etc. on an off day. Lydia paddle boards from her house in Miami Shores across Biscayne Bay and back, after teaching several water aerobics classes in the early AM.  Not a pair you want to “try out” your new health routine with.

And the boy’s slept in.

Since the Solarium Bistro was not so “Hot” yesterday, and they really wanted omelets, T2 and the Wacky American Tourist and Ever-Lovely Dragon Lady headed to “mini bites” a modified Bistro and Windjammer with limited fare near the sports area on the aft deck.

Service was great, omelets, OK. They were expecting fresh eggs and found out later that it was egg mix in a 5 gallon bucket.  Oh well, another strike for product quality.

Breakfast sausage, was fine, bacon a lump of overcooked Whatevah was in a chafing dish.  

A variety of fruits, meats, cheeses, yogurt cups and pastries rounded out the offerings. 

In all not bad, actually way much better that what was reported by the Tempelshifs about breakfast in the main dining room, 2 days in a row. 

The rest of the day was spent sunning and relaxing watching the basketball and volley ball games and then a migration to the Solarium area for more relaxation and sunning.

Soon it was time to return to the cabins to freshen up for happy hour.

In the middle of all this, Chucky hooked up with the Hotel Director Irfan Hurriyetoglu in the Solarium Bistro to discuss the previous two evenings and various other observations.

Without repeating here all the deficiencies reported, suffice it to say Irfan was painfully aware of the challenges of re-training a new crew every 6 months, which did not excuse the issues of the last two dinners.

With promises to remedy the current lack of service, both front and back of house, and an offer to treat TE7 to and evening in Wonderland [their trendy new outlet featuring the latest cuisine, gels, foams etc. – a major bucket list item for Donna].

Irfan thanked Chucky for a very in-depth report and requested a couple of additional conversations prior to the end of the cruise.

OK, so now we'll have senior staff hovering around the table to insure the evening goes well. Not Chucky’s intention, they just wanted service and food worthy of Past experiences on Royal, but as we said, they are slow to turn the boat, but eager to keep in-house issues from reaching certain corporate desks in Miami.

Sunning in the solarium turned into not sunning and back to the cabins to refresh before heading to the Schooner for traditional TE6 happy hour with the delightful Server Alexandria.

You'll note that we said, TE6 as Mark had taken ill and after heading to Sick Bay, they put him in Quarantine.  The poor guy was sooooo looking forward to Formal night.

Tonight, first night at sea, was Formal Night [yeah, they still have those but with a much relaxed dress code – Chucky wears a dressy Guyabera] and a majority of the ship was decked out to the 9’s.

Since it was spring break, there was an overabundance of families with children, who were Sooooo excited to dress up like Mom and Dad.  Sooooo cute.

Irfan, the Hotel Director arranged to meet them along with Mustafa Acar, the Restaurant Operations Manager at 7:25 to escort them to the dining room.  A lovely gesture, but more of a signal to the staff that VIP’s were coming through, not that we were, but like mentioned above, prepare for the hovering.

We were met at the same table by Jhon and Henry, two VERY nervous dudes.  Chucky took Jhon aside and assured him again, it wasn’t his service, it was the kitchens issues.

Rado made his appearance, welcomed us and assured Mustafa it would be a Brilliant Evening.

Of Course It Was!

Hots-Hot, Colds-Cold, copious amounts of nervous smiles and a hovering Rado who hustled to one of the premium venues to purloin a basket of Lavosh having heard Donna loves it.  Best Lavosh I've ever had on a cruise ship.  Actually the ONLY Lavosh I've ever had on a cruise ship.

Chucky’s linguini with scallops and shrimp was wonderful.

Rather than recount everyone’s order suffice it to say, everything came out A+ and even the crème Brule had the proper dish. [Jhon whispered that they have a shortage, hence the ramekin used previously.]

Considering it was formal night we were surprised that the My Time dining was half empty.  Which didn’t hurt the kitchen to pay attention to detail.

We finished in time to take a break on the promenade and Since the Headliner Show we were booked for had some unknown singer, we opted to try the Aqua Show again, and after hurrying to find decent seats, once again the motion of the ocean nixed it for safety reasons.

Everyone was fairly exhausted and since Helmut had already passed on the Aqua Show, we all followed his lead and headed for Nonny-Nonny.

Ciao 4 Now

Uncle Chuck & The already in Nonny-Nonny Land, 

Dragon Lady