DEPARTURE CHAOS

Chaos? You want Chaos?!? Wellll here goes.

By most standards, leaving ones computer mouse on the desk while packing the laptop and racing to the door to meet the Uber, is a minor thing for most folks.  Especially when you're supposed to be taking a relaxing cruise.

But for the Wacky American Tourist, composer of the World Famous [well, almost] NOWAT it is a CATASTROPHY!

But Seriously… How is he gonna write all those enlightening diatribes, those wonderful tales of adventure and daring do, or report the delightful foibles of the Ever-Lovely Dragon Lady, while being forced to us that tacky little scratch pad on the laptop.  Welllll I guess we’re just gonna find out.

And THAT was just about the only real Chaos in this departure.

"Get on with it already."
"Yes Dear!"

So, aside from the missing mouse, which wasn’t discovered missing until he was unpacking the all-important laptop in the cabin, the departure from Casa d’ Chaos was fine.

However the Uber driver, Pedro, who was supposed to be fluent in English, but wasn’t even… didn’t quite know where we were headed [he does Miami mostly – Broward County is still a mystery to him] but Dragon Chic came to the rescue her giving him directions all the way. and they chitty chatted all the way to the boat, with 

Once inside the port, it took longer to get to the ship from the security gate, than it took to get to the port from Casa d’ Chaos.  The line of cabs, Ubers, Next door neighbors vans for drop-off’s and pick-ups, was loooonnnnnggg.  But the baggage drop porters, waaaayyy over there, were spot on, grabbing bags and tossing them onto the ship loading carts.

And with that our Happy Duo were off to find Mark who was waiting at the VIP entrance for the Tempelshifs who had dropped their bags and had taken their rental car back to the airport.

The Tevini’s were running late, Helmut thought they were leaving from the Port of Miami, and wasn’t in a rush to call for his Uber until he called Chucky to find out which terminal.

As such, they missed meeting up in time to follow the rest of the entourage into VIP boarding line which whisked them all through security and directly onto the ship without having to wait in line to check in.

Whereas the Tevini’s, finally arriving 30 minutes later, had to suffer the cattle call with the rest of the steaming masses.

By the time they got aboard, Helmut was so stressed he found the first bar in sight and settled in for some needed Certified Stress Reliever [a/k/a Vodka/Tonic] while the rest of the entourage was having lunch in the Windjammer Marketplace buffet.

Hunger pangs finally hit Lydia who met them there for a bite before they all headed down to meet Helmut who was in a lively discussion with some Canadians about who knows what.

By then, cabins were supposed to be ready so they all headed up to see what they could see, and if luggage had arrived.

They all headed off in the wrong direction for the elevators and wound up at the wrong end of the ship, which… turned out good for Chucky and DL as they trekked down the looooonnngg hall.  It seems that luggage had begun to arrive and he spotted a familiar bag, albeit in front of the wrong cabin far from theirs. He hauled it to their cabin, which had no bags near.  Surmising that the bag drop was pre-sorting, he headed back and located their other bag and just like that, they were in the cabin and hanging cloths.  

The others reported at happy hour that their luggage had yet to arrive.

Now it was time for the mandatory boat drill, where you have to gather on the boat deck to stand, packed like sardines, in the heat till they smelled like sardines, and until everyone checked in to hear the usual drill spiel. But since this is MEGA ship they mustered in one of the lounges to learn how to put on a life jacket once again and watch a safety video, produced in a cheesy “Mission Impossible format”.

And then it was back to the cabins for a little relaxation until Happy Hour in the Schooner Bar.

After finding a quite spot for 7, which had to be moved after the speaker over Donna’s head caused havoc with her earpiece, Lenny and Chucky cultivated the waitress and instructed the bar staff on their expectations for the next 9 days [with a little greased palm action] to insure a well-oiled cruise, if you get the drift.

OK, so Chucky tends to be picky about his:

“Bone Dry, Dewar’s Rob Roy Stirred, NOT SHAKEN, Straight Up with Lemon Twist snapped over, rimmed and dropped”

Now is that sooooo difficult for the waitress to convey to the bartender? Seriously?

Welllll, after the number of sweet vermouth concoctions with cherries creating more fails than he can count, it has become easier for him to go direct, and supervise, sometimes having to teach how to properly use a bar spoon until its done right.

Yeah… Picky was just polite for Anal.

After their quite time was interrupted by an unexpected Trivia game with a very irritating Trivia MC, it was time for dinner.

Once again this got longer than planned, what’s new?

So we'll cover dinner in the next post. Because, if you know this bunch by now… dinner will be, wellll let’s just say, Interesting.

Ciao 4 Now

Uncle Chuck & The Very Hungry, 

Dragon Lady